Change

I asked if you would be there for me when I'm hurt.
I asked if you would hold me close when no one else would.
I asked if it was too much.
You told me you would never leave my side.
Damn you,
Damn you for lying to me.
You left me when I needed you most.
I depended on you for stability.
All you gave me was trouble.
You made my life into a challenge.
A challenge no one needs to face.
Not there for the bettering of my soul.
But for the furthering of my descending.
Descent from which I didn't think I could return.
But, life has a way of preparation.
I haven't quite risen yet.
But I'm no longer falling.
You should know,
That I didn't lie to you when I told you I couldn't live without you.
That is still true.
So instead, I'm changing my life.
Creating a life separate from the pain of loving you.
That world will never be forgotten,
And neither will my love.
But I can't stay in the cold anymore.
I can't wait while you walk.
It's time for me to go forward.
Let life offer me something that wants me the way I am.

The Canvas

He sits,
With a blank canvas staring at him.
He doesn't look at the canvas.
He's looking past the white void
Something else catches the interest of this woeful walker.
What he sees behind the void of white complicates his mind.
He becomes frantic.
He takes a brush, dips it in color, and paints over the entire canvas,
The void has transgressed to black.
He continues to look past the void.
Behind the void continues to puzzle him.
He's loosing his concentration.
He picks up more paint.
He can't step away.
He could spend an eternity hear.
In this spot.
He plans to.
He won't stop painting.
He looks up to see what behind the void has to offer now.
Every time he looks he becomes more critical.
What he sees changes him.
He picks up more paint and continues.
Each stroke as important as the last like the lines of a poem.
None more important than the other.
Just like you can't look at a couple lines of poem to see it's true meaning,
Neither can you to that of a painting.
He puts down his brush.
He looks a the world behind him.
It saddens him.
His painting shows his emotion just the same.
He looks at the painting of himself,
At the foreground of the world behind the canvas.

Worthy

He's surrounded by a cataclysm of relationships.
Everything is being ruined around him.
All the joys he once knew, seem to hold no value anymore,
No reason, no recollection, resentment has regained control over the young man's conscious.
He doesn't understand how.
All he knows is the pain it causes.
He envies those around him.
Desperate for what they have, while they forget it's value.
People tell him that things will get better.
What if he doesn't want to get better.
Rather, he wants them to change.
Things get better only to become worse again.
Change is the only way to see differences,
To see truth in this world full of deceit.
The validity he's looking for can only be found from the change that is inside himself.
A self-realization of independence.
His elation is no longer dependent on those around him,
But instead,
His own self-worth.